Thursday, May 30, 2019
Helen Rice wrote, A mother’s love is something that no one can explain, it is made of deep devotion, of sacrifice, and of pain. It is endless, unselfish, and enduring come what may, for nothing can destroy it or take that love away.
Everyone keeps saying that my mother is gone, but in all honesty that is not true. I see her whenever I want. All I have to do is close my eyes and there she is. Tossing her head back, laughing so loud. She’s on the phone telling whomever about how her granddaughter Addisyn just graduated from VPK and how proud she is of her Gran. “She’s growing up so fast and is so smart like her mother and father” I can hear her saying.
My mother was like the Florida weather, one moment she was sunny and clear skies the next she was thunderstorms with a chance of high winds, one extreme to another. When she was happy, hysterically happy you just knew. Like the time when she watched Robert and I play in the rain when we were kids at my grandmother’s house, the smile on her face, seeing us laughing and having fun was un-forgetful and the laugh she let out; I can still hear it. Or the time when I went to North Carolina to visit, we were outside for a get together and my cousin Eric, Jordan and I were running, one of them either about busted their butt or did on the clay hill next to the apartment, she laughed so hard that day. Seeing her smile like that is forever sketched into my mind.
When she was upset, her tone was like lightening in the sky. I can still hear her yelling at me about breaking the pipe we had in the yard at our old house on Debutant during one of Robert’s birthday parties. I can still remember her tone and the disappointment when I got suspended from Middle School for getting into a fight with my old friend Alex, she was so mad about that.
I close my eyes and I see her glowing with joy at Thomas’s wedding day. I can see her dancing with her grandson Adam, happiness all over her face. I close my eyes and I see her, Robert and I at an old restaurant we went to as kids “Grandpa's” we’re playing pool listening to one of Aforman’s songs on the juke box, we’re singing along, laughing and goofing off. I close my eyes; an I see the glow on her face each time she met one of her grandchildren for the first time. I close my eyes; an I see her in her old car, me up front with Big and Rich “Save a horse ride a cowboy” playing on the radio. Both of us are singing along, she grabs my knee like she always did and tickles me. I close my eyes and I hear our last conversation where she told me that she is proud of all her children, that we made something of our lives, despite the issues we had growing up, that we never let it stop us from following our dreams. I close my eyes and I hear tell me “I love you baby girl”.
Thank you mom, for never allowing me to give up or quit when things in life got tough, for always being the one I can talk to when work or home life was getting rough, for having that special way of making me laugh until I forgot why I was so mad, for making me think rationally not emotionally. Thank you, mom, for always overly caring about how we were all doing, for shaping me into the woman I am today, for supporting me and my crazy choice I’ve made. I hope I continue to make you proud as we look down on me. I love you mom.
The last thing I would to share is a poem that I found.
Mom
By: Carol Bodenham
Look up to the sky.
Now tell me what you see.
A cloud, the moon, possibly the sun.
Many answers there will be.
When I look up to the sky,
I'll tell you what I see.
I see my mother,
And she's looking back at me.
She tells me she didn't want to leave us,
But it was time for her to depart.
It was the hardest thing she had to do,
And it's breaking her heart.
She tells me we mustn't be sad
Because finally she's free.
She's found her place in heaven
Underneath a blossom tree.
She'll always be there to guide us
When we feel we've lost the way.
She'll always be there to comfort us
And wipe those tears away.
She'll always be there to share our joy
And laugh at the jokes we make.
In order to feel her presence,
Only a little imagination it'll take.
She may be in the form of a butterfly
Or simply a floating feather
Or hovering over like a busy bee
Or simply part of the weather.
You've all come here to say your farewell,
But for me it's not goodbye.
4 / 4
If I want to see her, all I have to do
Is look up to the sky.
Sweet dreams, Mam I love you.
